~un-yeah-hmm

i want to be blind

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About Me Member Wannabe Novelist un-yeah-hmmFemale/United States

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disco party

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runrunrunI watch his lips as he exhales the smoke from his cigarette, and then my eyes follow as the clouds trace the contours of his cheekbones and his thin pale lips and his obsidian eyes, fringed by those delicate boy-lashes. The necklace his mother made for him is hanging around his neck, the small little flowers falling over his collarbone—such a contradiction, he’s such an angry, violent boy but he wears this necklace made of silver and flowers and hearts because it reminds him of his mother, who is half-there and droopy-eyed because of the pills she takes.

‘What’re you staring at?’ he asks, but it’s n runrunrun
by ~un-yeah-hmm

hello darkness my old friendI will grasp your hand and hold it close to my breast, and whisper sweet songs to shush your constant hummings, trail my fingertips along the silky outline of your lips—you can stay with me in these padded walls, this pillow of a room, so nice and warm. We can be insane together, you and I, I and you, me and he and his and she and me and you forever. Our cries will be swallowed by these thick walls and these locked doors.
This will be our forever—even if we pass we will want it to be forever, and that’s what really, truly matters, right? (please say yes, please say yes)
Let me float down into your life hello darkness my old friend
by ~un-yeah-hmm

and this is how it beginsthis is how it ends.
My eyes open up to the color green. I have often found the color green to be the most beautiful, the most elegant of colors—it is the color of nature, and most ultimately, the color of your eyes.
But these sheets are just the color of my sheets, dull and fading from overwash, from a spilled thing of bleach that leaves some spots this ugly faded mint color. I’m waking up alone next to a cold bed, which is what I expect everyday, but that doesn’t make it any easier. The sheets feel coarse and unwashed against my naked skin, and I stare up silently at my plain white ceiling, feeling a and this is how it begins
by ~un-yeah-hmm

swallowThe room is smoky, and it’s hard to see—it stings my eyes, chokes my lungs, grips my throat. I’m trying to find you through the throngs of people, through the moving bodies and beating hearts and touching hands, but you’re so far away. I see you, and you’re so close I can almost see the dark hair on your pale arms, the bones moving underneath your thin flesh. You have your back turned to me, completely still amongst the grinding (pulling, swaying, pushing) bodies, watching the band play with your eyes open and alert. When I make a move for you, suddenly I’m surrounded and I smell sweat and cigarette smoke and sex swallow
by ~un-yeah-hmm

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would you please, would you please

Mon Feb 9, 2009, 3:29 PM

Mood: Neutral
Listening to: how deep is your love - the bird and the bee
Reading: pieces
Watching: nicht
Playing: nicht!
Eating: nicht
Drinking: nicht

i'm fine now.
i swear.
and i'll take new pictures.
whenever i get the chance.

2 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

deviantID

i am natalie.

i hardly know myself, so there's not much i can tell you.

i am a writer, and a girl. i am confused and hurt and lost. i am many many things. i am a human being (not doing).